Furries

Before you look at the title of this and begin thinking of this post as yet another rant against furries based on someone's uneducated point-of-view, think again, as I myself am a furry, so obviously I would have nothing against my own fandom.  Well, almost nothing...

My complaint is about originality, or the furry's lack thereof.

Okay, I'mma just go right out and say it.

Wolves.

Mother

Fucking

WOLVES.

I mean, holy shit, wolves.  What the fuck is everyone's deal with wolves?  They're practically walking furballs with tongues that like to howl and shit, and people claim them to be such godly and exceptionally cool creatures.  I swear, at least 75% of furries' biographies/fursonas have to do with these things.  While I will admit, wolves are pretty boss.  They're practically dogs and dogs kick tons of ass too.

But when I first meet you and see that your fursona looks like this,

I automatically have no choice but to label you as yet another untalented emo kid who tried out the furry fandom just because you like wolves and had moderate skills in PhotoShop (and by moderate, I mean that you like taking lineart off of Google Images and color them in without shading them and call them your own characters).
Dear God, do you people even try?

Here's a list of animals that deserve to have more fursonas made of, or can never be overused enough to become lame:

Dragons

Seriously, how can you go wrong with dragons?  They're majestic, strong, and have fucking wings.  They can range from menacing to cute, and chubby to lean.  There's simply no way where an anthropomorphic dragon couldn't ever be kickass.

Sharks

Holy shit, how are there not more of these?  When given human forms with legs and arms, more often than not they become powerhouses of power and agility.  They make pretty hot chicks too.

If these aren't hot, go cut your dick off.

Yoshies

While mostly just cute on their own, there are so many side-stories I can think of for these things to have.  It's an island that these guys come from, right?  There could be hundreds of different varieties out there other than just multicolored ones, not to mention species, personalities and abilities.  Hot damn would that be badass.  I also suggested this because I remember there being one point where Yoshi fursonas were really hot (both in the popularity and attractiveness sense), and yet recently I've noticed a near extinction of them.  Bottom line, bring 'em back, dammit!


And before you start complaining about my fursona not being at all original, then here.

True image of srs

Hauntzor is a human-dragon hybrid, although his human form and body would suggest his dominant allele being human.  As far as I know, not many of these kinds of fursonas exist, so NYEHHHHH to you.

In conclusion, my fursona is better than yours.  Go cry, emo kid.

Having an opinion in a nutshell

The End

I really need to get a grip

This is sort of following from my last post, but sometimes I really wish I knew how to properly shut the fuck up.

I was at a Japanese restaurant yesterday with some friends.  It was a group of six and one of them happened to be a huge Japan-junkie, who prettymuch I can easily describe as a weaboo; she claims to be of Japanese descent and know a lot of Japanese (which she does), but ask her to explain something about Japan and why it is what it is, she'll pretend to not hear you or just ignore it altogether.  Fuck, she won't even tell me why her Facebook profile name is in Japanese rather than her English one she was born with and all of us call her by.

That being said, while we were in that restaurant, I was pretty tense because with her with us, I felt like every wrong thing I said or did was taboo or offensive.  I felt expected to eat with chopsticks (Not only use them, but hold them CORRECTLY, a skill I could never figure out.  Seriously, chopsticks need to go fuck themselves.), know how to pronounce the names of the menu items and know basic Japanese customs and body language.

I was a fucking wreck the entire time we were there, and it only worsened when I unwittingly made a comment as of why most Asians were skinny because of how tedious eating with chopsticks was (The restaurant was full of them, most of them happening to be around me when I said it).

As soon as I said it, I wanted to kill myself.  I had disgraced Japan, its people, the Asian countries surrounded by and related to it and most likely made baby Jesus cry.

I spent the rest of the time fretting over it, all the while feeling like a criminal without a shred of dignity left within me.  Hours later while still with two of the people who went with me, they tried to reassure me that no harm was done.  As much as I wanted to play along and believe them, I couldn't.

My problem is this: through my entire life it's been a horrible problem with me forgetting things.  No matter how playful or trivial the potential negative comment I say or am told of is, it stays with me for way too long.  I've found myself losing sleep and forgetting to do work because of it.

I've tried to give as little of a shit as possible, but to no avail.  Why do I still care?  If I didn't, I'd have no problem in solving it.  Unfortunately, my morality always has to think otherwise...

This is why I'm a nazi

I'm a critic.  I'm just gonna go right out and say it.  I have something negative to say about fucking everything, no matter how passionately composed the thing is that I'm looking at.  It's not that I'm trying to be an asshole, I guess it's just the way I project myself that makes me sound like it.

Another thing about me is that I'm a huge grammar nazi, which isn't much of a statement on its own, but if you realized how many grudges, the number of enemies and the amount of death threats and chew-outs I've received from people because of it, you'd realize how much of my teenage life it's wrecked so far.

I mean come on, I'll bet you can't look me straight in the eye and tell me that an ADULT typing on a COMPUTER KEYBOARD who can barely type a coherent paragraph, not to mention one that looks like a fucking novel with absolutely no kind of punctuation, consistent sentences or meaning of any sort, doesn't make you question that person's school attendance record.

Naturally, I have to say something.  Now before you say I could also just choose not to say something because I have nothing positive to say about their commentary, please take note that as a grammar nazi, my fucking INSTINCT to point out such gross errors as these.  It's for the good of America, and it's a well-known fact that lazy typers have relations with Al Queda.

It's a conspiracy, doodz

I'm also positive that this is what goes through my head every morning when I wake up:

"Good morning world.  To start the day off, I think I'll do a little bit of not giving a fuck.  And for lunch, I think I'll have myself a little bit of criticism, and then at the end of the day, some good old bitching."

Repeat.

Goddamn, this is bad.
I guess I could just live with it and accept the fact that I'll always be a bitter person who always has something negative to say about everything in every aspect, but I plan to have children, and what will they think of me?

I guess us grammar nazis are just born and fated to live long, lonely lives.

Privacy is overrated

Yeah, I'm here with the Facebook ranting once again.  I guess it's just the fact that the longer you've been in a certain community, the more you have to bitch about with it.  The thing I have on mind right now is the whole privacy thing everyone is (well, sort of always has been) bitching about- privacy.

Since the dawn of ages man has always had some kind of tendency to keep things to himself.  Maybe in fears of rejection from other groups or simply for personal reasons or for keeping a sound reputation.  There are some, however, who have nothing to hide from the world and could just as easily tell you that they achieve great sexual gratification from seeing cow udders than they could with any other dark secret they may have.  For those who don't possess such a trait, however, there's Facebook.

Facebook is "a place for friends," as the website designers so tastefully describe it.  What do friends do?  They share things.  They tell each other personal experiences, tastes, what happened to them that day or what their perceptions are on why the sky is blue or why the hell do people still like Madonna.

Now, how many friends do you actually have in real life, not counting the ones you've added on Facebook (and God knows how many you could have added simply because of their 'mutual friend' count)?  If you're a fairly social kid, maybe a good round ten.  These are the ones whom you talk with all the time, constantly hang around with and can always relate their opinions and perspectives to yours.  You get along well and you're all happy with it.  They're your Facebook besties.
  No more should be necessary, but maybe there's another group you occasionally hang around with when your true ones are nowhere to be found, and you might have a few personal experiences with them as well, but none so much as cherishing as your true ones.  Maybe you added them on Facebook as well even though you have little to nothing in common with them.

My point is, why add more?  We've transformed into a society that tries to connect with nearly everyone we find online, what with the uprising of social networking sites like Facebook, eHarmony and IMVU whose goals are to connect people with each other romantically or to find their high school friends, and at the same time we've become a bunch of bitchy simpletons who still want their privacy respected.

How the fuck can I expect you to not tell me something personal when the other 400 people and I are friends with you on Facebook, yet at the same time you harp daily about how awesome your day was with so-and-so or what kind of mustard was in your Subway sandwich two days ago?  With the number of statuses you write in a day I could compile your biography if you continued to do it for just the next three years.  Yet despite this, Facebook keeps upgrading and developing their privacy policy restrictions, when people could just stop accepting friend requests for people they don't know.

I solve complications in everyone's bullshit problems once again.

Profile pictures

It's late as shit and I start school tomorrow, but I can't sleep at all.  I figured it would be appropriate to update and keep up my flow.

I've been on Facebook for quite awhile now.  Since about 2009 I've learned nearly everything about it; how it's used, what people like doing, what people like asking you to do (If I get one more fucking FarmVille invitation request, I swear...) and what people like posting, both pictures and status updates alike.  I'm here to talk about said images.

It's mainly the profile pictures.  People use pictures of themselves: in front of the bathroom mirror, in group shots or maybe pretending to do some good ol' underage alcoholic beverage guzzling at their dad's Halloween party, with more said images regarding pictures like these taken afterwards which are then haphazardly uploaded to the site the next day by some dickhead friend.

However, most people, if not all of them at some point, choose to plaster things other than their face on the site.  I've seen everything.  No really, EVERYTHING.  This article is dedicated to weird crap that I'd rather not see on your profile should I happen to be friended with you.

1. Your baby/kids


These kinds of pictures are usually from new parents who like to show off their new offspring to grandparents who have virtually no other pictures in their computer despite the fact of it being four years old and that they've never mastered the right click>Save Image As method.  Seriously, why do people use these?  I know it must be a good feeling to slap your accomplishments on everything, but I doubt anyone else besides close friends or family will give two shits of what your baby looks like.  Why?  Because all.  Babies.  Look.  Exactly.  The.  Same.  I swear to God.  You've seen one little person, you've seen them all.  And every time I look at their profile I can't help but imagine that somehow a small human with underdeveloped motor skills somehow murdered the previous account's owner, replaced their profile picture with theirs, and took over.

                                                                            You monster.......

2. Your truck/car/vehicle

Oh cool, you're the owner of a motor vehicle.  That's great and all, but almost everyone else in the country owns a car, so you're nothing special.  Most of the time it's not even their car either, just a picture they grabbed off of Google Images that they probably occasionally jerk off to because of how awesome they think it is.  That's another thing I want to get through, it's a motherfucking car.  A vehicle used for transportation.  A hunk of metal fitted with an internal combustion engine.  There is nothing cosmically spectacular about them, why do so many people rave over them, not paying attention to the fact that people have arguments over whether Ford, Dodge Chevrolet can pull more weight/drive harder/get better mileage.  Who gives a shit?  It's a fucking truck.  Rednecks like to drive around in them and shoot lawn ornaments out of the passenger window and haul semi-heavy crap with them.  There is nothing that cool or sophisticated about your truck.  Stop bragging about it.

                                                               Unless they come bundled with one of these.

3. The Ducklips

I don't even think I have to explain anything on this one...

                                                            Oh god, the ducklips....

4. Heavily-shopped portraits

These are usually made by anti-social teenage scene girls who try to look "artistic."  This fad is also usually coupled up with the ducklips more often than not, and often with added fake tears and stupid quotes with the words "pain" or "love" in them.  Oooh, so you've mastered the contrast settings tool, I see?  

                                                                 I am a tortured artist and all I want is to be loved :(((((( ~ <3

5.  Your pets

You are not a dog.  Get off of the internet and fetch me the paper.  

                                                             They say that your pets can reflect your personality.

          

Well, I feel like those are the only ones I can think of right now that I can go into real detail on.  I'm tired anyway, so I'll just stop there.

This is what passes for official if you live on DeviantART standards

First, we'll take a picture of a widely-recognized icon and import it into good ol' MSPaint.  But isn't this someone else's work?  Well, when we're done with it no one will be able to tell so that makes it legit!

Let's get to work. First, let's change the default color of the body. Try to pick the most generic, eye-blinding grabbing palettes you can find and slap 'em on.  Slap 'em on gewd.  Add some horns to further separate its appearance from the original template draft.  They also make him look pretty boss.

Now he needs a name.  Hmm... let's think of something cool and clever and clevre and kool.

Xonic


Fuck yes, I am a damned genius.  Sega should hire me.

Now simply upload this to DeviantART and prepare to bask in the flames praise from your oh-so meticulously rendered masterpiece.  Make several more of them as well so everyone can see how creative you truly are! :)